Mihai venise cu m\u00e2inile goale.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu flori.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu o sticl\u0103 de vin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu o cutie de bomboane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nimic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dar nu acesta fusese lucrul care m\u0103 deranjase cu adev\u0103rat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Privirea mi-a cobor\u00e2t spre hainele lui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Purta pantaloni de trening, un tricou vechi \u0219i o pereche de papuci de cas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Avea p\u0103rul \u00eenc\u0103 umed, de parc\u0103 tocmai ie\u0219ise de la du\u0219 \u0219i hot\u0103r\u00e2se c\u0103 nu merita s\u0103 piard\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 cinci minute preg\u0103tindu-se.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Eu petrecusem aproape \u00eentreaga zi g\u0103tind \u0219i aranj\u00e2nd totul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
El locuia la c\u00e2teva minute distan\u021b\u0103 \u0219i venise de parc\u0103 cobor\u00e2se s\u0103 duc\u0103 gunoiul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Linda? \u00eentreb\u0103 din nou. Ce am f\u0103cut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am privit spre masa din spatele meu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Lum\u00e2n\u0103rile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Farfuriile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M\u00e2ncarea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi spre el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Cred c\u0103 seara asta se opre\u0219te aici.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Poftim?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 La revedere, Mihai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A r\u00e2s, convins c\u0103 glumesc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Stai pu\u021bin. Din cauza hainelor?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Atunci?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mi-am sprijinit m\u00e2na de u\u0219\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Din cauza a ceea ce \u00eemi spun ele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Z\u00e2mbetul \u00eei disp\u0103ru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Nu \u00een\u021beleg.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Eu m-am preg\u0103tit pentru o \u00eent\u00e2lnire. Tu ai venit ca \u0219i cum ai trece cinci minute pe la o vecin\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Dar suntem acas\u0103 la tine. Credeam c\u0103 va fi ceva relaxat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Relaxat nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 nep\u0103s\u0103tor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mihai se uit\u0103 la el \u00eensu\u0219i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Serios m\u0103 trimi\u021bi acas\u0103 pentru asta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cen urm\u0103 cu c\u00e2\u021biva ani, probabil c\u0103 a\u0219 fi f\u0103cut altceva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
L-a\u0219 fi l\u0103sat s\u0103 intre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u0219 fi z\u00e2mbit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A\u0219 fi pretins c\u0103 nu m\u0103 deranjeaz\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mi-a\u0219 fi spus c\u0103 sunt superficial\u0103 dac\u0103 observ asemenea lucruri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi a\u0219 fi petrecut toat\u0103 seara \u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103-i creez lui o atmosfer\u0103 pl\u0103cut\u0103, \u00een timp ce eu m\u0103 sim\u021beam prost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
F\u0103cusem asta timp de treizeci de ani.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu cu hainele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Cu aproape orice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u00cemi mic\u0219orasem propriile nevoi pentru ca altcineva s\u0103 nu se simt\u0103 incomod.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu mai voiam s\u0103 fac asta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mihai m\u0103 privi c\u00e2teva secunde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi spuse:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2014 Bine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Se \u00eentoarse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218i plec\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Am \u00eenchis u\u0219a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-am rezemat de ea \u0219i am expirat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Apoi m-am uitat la masa preg\u0103tit\u0103 pentru dou\u0103 persoane.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M-am sim\u021bit ridicol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poate exagerasem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Poate prietenele mele aveau s\u0103-mi spun\u0103 c\u0103 la 54 de ani nu mai eram adolescent\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 un b\u0103rbat bun conta mai mult dec\u00e2t o pereche de pantaloni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u0218tiam asta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dar tocmai pentru c\u0103 aveam 54 de ani nu mai voiam s\u0103 ignor semnele mici.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu aveam nevoie de un b\u0103rbat \u00een costum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nu aveam nevoie de flori scumpe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Aveam nevoie de cineva care s\u0103-mi transmit\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201e\u0218tiu c\u0103 seara asta este important\u0103 \u0219i pentru tine, a\u0219a c\u0103 este important\u0103 \u0219i pentru mine.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Am stins una dintre lum\u00e2n\u0103ri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Atunci sun\u0103 din nou soneria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n M-am uitat la ceas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Trecuser\u0103 aproximativ cincisprezece minute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am deschis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Era Mihai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar de data aceasta aproape c\u0103 nu l-am recunoscut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Purta o c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 alb\u0103, pantaloni \u00eenchi\u0219i la culoare \u0219i pantofi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00centr-o m\u00e2n\u0103 avea un buchet mic de lalele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cen cealalt\u0103, o sticl\u0103 de vin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am r\u0103mas cu gura \u00eentredeschis\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Ce faci?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 \u00cencerc din nou.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am ridicat o spr\u00e2ncean\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Mihai\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Las\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 spun ceva. Dac\u0103 dup\u0103 aceea \u00eemi \u00eenchizi u\u0219a, promit c\u0103 plec.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am t\u0103cut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Te-am \u00een\u021beles gre\u0219it, spuse el. C\u00e2nd ai zis \u201ecin\u0103 acas\u0103\u201d, am crezut c\u0103 vrei ceva foarte informal. Am fost prost. Dar c\u00e2nd mi-ai spus c\u0103 tu te-ai preg\u0103tit pentru o \u00eent\u00e2lnire, mi-am dat seama c\u0103 eu venisem ca \u0219i cum nu ar fi fost una.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Se uit\u0103 la flori.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 \u0218i asta a fost lips\u0103 de respect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu m\u0103 a\u0219teptasem la r\u0103spunsul acela.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nu vreau s\u0103 fii altcineva pentru mine, i-am spus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nici eu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nu trebuie s\u0103 vii cu flori de fiecare dat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Slav\u0103 Domnului, pentru c\u0103 flor\u0103ria de la col\u021b aproape c\u0103 se \u00eenchisese.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am r\u00e2s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n El z\u00e2mbi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Pot s\u0103 intru?<\/p>\n\n\n\n M-am dat la o parte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Acum po\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Cina nu a fost perfect\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i poate tocmai de aceea a fost at\u00e2t de bun\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am ars pu\u021bin garnitura pentru c\u0103 uitasem cuptorul pornit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mihai a v\u0103rsat vin pe fa\u021ba de mas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n La un moment dat am r\u00e2s at\u00e2t de tare, \u00eenc\u00e2t mi-au dat lacrimile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar \u00een timpul cinei s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat ceva important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am vorbit sincer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I-am povestit mai mult despre c\u0103snicia mea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu despre David ca despre un monstru.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu fusese.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Aceasta fusese tocmai problema pe care oamenii din jurul meu nu o \u00een\u021belegeau.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu plecasem dup\u0103 treizeci de ani pentru c\u0103 David fusese un om \u00eengrozitor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Plecasem pentru c\u0103 rela\u021bia noastr\u0103 devenise un loc \u00een care eu \u00eencetasem \u00eencet s\u0103 mai exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 La un moment dat \u2014 i-am spus lui Mihai \u2014 am realizat c\u0103 toat\u0103 lumea din familia mea \u0219tia ce avea nevoie de la mine. Dar nimeni nu m\u0103 mai \u00eentreba ce aveam eu nevoie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mihai nu \u00eencerc\u0103 s\u0103-mi explice c\u0103 gre\u0219isem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu-l ap\u0103r\u0103 pe fostul meu so\u021b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu-mi spuse c\u0103 trebuia s\u0103 fi comunicat mai bine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Doar \u00eentreb\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 \u0218i de ce ai nevoie acum?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00centrebarea aceea m-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 tac.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pentru c\u0103 nu eram obi\u0219nuit\u0103 s\u0103 mi se pun\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 De reciprocitate, am r\u0103spuns \u00een cele din urm\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n El d\u0103du din cap.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Pot s\u0103 \u00eencerc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu \u201e\u00ee\u021bi promit c\u0103 voi fi perfect\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Doar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201ePot s\u0103 \u00eencerc.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Mi-a pl\u0103cut r\u0103spunsul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Am continuat s\u0103 ne vedem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00cencet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n F\u0103r\u0103 promisiuni absurde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n F\u0103r\u0103 discu\u021bii despre mutat \u00eempreun\u0103 dup\u0103 trei luni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Uneori mergeam la restaurant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alteori g\u0103tea el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Uneori petreceam weekendul \u00eempreun\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Alteori \u00eei spuneam:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 \u00cen seara asta vreau s\u0103 fiu singur\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Prima dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd am spus asta, am a\u0219teptat aproape instinctiv s\u0103 se supere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mihai doar r\u0103spunse:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Bine. Ne auzim m\u00e2ine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At\u00e2t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am r\u0103mas cu telefonul \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 \u0219i mi-am dat seama c\u00e2t de mult m\u0103 obi\u0219nuisem s\u0103 justific orice nevoie personal\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dup\u0103 aproape \u0219ase luni, fiul meu R\u0103zvan a venit acas\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218tia c\u0103 m\u0103 vedeam cu cineva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar era prima dat\u0103 c\u00e2nd urma s\u0103-l \u00eent\u00e2lneasc\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am fost mai emo\u021bionat\u0103 dec\u00e2t la prima \u00eent\u00e2lnire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n R\u0103zvan \u00eel privi atent pe Mihai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mihai nu \u00eencerc\u0103 s\u0103-i devin\u0103 prieten instantaneu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu f\u0103cu glume for\u021bate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu \u00eencerc\u0103 s\u0103 ocupe locul tat\u0103lui lui.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Au vorbit despre fotbal, ma\u0219ini \u0219i facultate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dup\u0103 ce Mihai plec\u0103, R\u0103zvan m\u0103 privi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 \u00ce\u021bi place mult de el?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Da.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fiul meu z\u00e2mbi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Se vede.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am ezitat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Te deranjeaz\u0103?<\/p>\n\n\n\n R\u0103zvan se \u00eencrunt\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Mam\u0103, am dou\u0103zeci \u0219i ceva de ani. Nu trebuie s\u0103-mi ceri voie s\u0103 ai o via\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am sim\u021bit cum mi se umezesc ochii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 \u0218tiu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nu cred.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Apoi m\u0103 \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Dar poate ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eencepi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n David aflase \u0219i el despre Mihai.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00centr-o dup\u0103-amiaz\u0103 m-a sunat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Ryan mi-a spus c\u0103 te vezi cu cineva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 R\u0103zvan \u2014 l-am corectat aproape automat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A oftat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 E serios?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nu \u0219tiu. \u0218i nici nu trebuie s\u0103 \u0219tiu \u00eenc\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Treizeci de ani, Linda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218tiam ce voia s\u0103 spun\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Treizeci de ani \u00eempreun\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n O via\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n O istorie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nu \u0219terg cei treizeci de ani, David.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Atunci cum po\u021bi s\u0103 mergi mai departe at\u00e2t de u\u0219or?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am \u00eenchis ochii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Nu a fost u\u0219or. Doar c\u0103 tu ai \u00eenceput s\u0103 observi plecarea mea \u00een ziua \u00een care mi-am f\u0103cut bagajele. Eu \u00eencepusem s\u0103 plec cu ani \u00eenainte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu a r\u0103spuns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu i-am spus asta ca s\u0103-l r\u0103nesc.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Era pur \u0219i simplu adev\u0103rul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Un an dup\u0103 prima noastr\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lnire, Mihai a venit din nou la u\u0219a mea exact la ora \u0219apte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am deschis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Purta blugi, o c\u0103ma\u0219\u0103 \u0219i \u021binea \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 o pung\u0103 de h\u00e2rtie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Ce este asta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Desert.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 \u0218i florile?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u00ce\u0219i duse m\u00e2na la piept, pref\u0103c\u00e2ndu-se ofensat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Credeam c\u0103 ai spus c\u0103 nu trebuie s\u0103 aduc flori de fiecare dat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am r\u00e2s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Ai \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2014 Cu greu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n L-am l\u0103sat s\u0103 intre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n De data aceasta nu preg\u0103tisem masa cu ore \u00eenainte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu purtam rochia bleumarin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eram \u00een pantaloni comozi \u0219i un pulover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dar era diferit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pentru c\u0103 acum am\u00e2ndoi<\/strong> \u0219tiam c\u0103 este o sear\u0103 relaxat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Asta fusese, de fapt, diferen\u021ba \u00eenc\u0103 de la \u00eenceput.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu hainele.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu florile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu vinul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Efortul reciproc.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n La 54 de ani credeam c\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lnirile aveau s\u0103 fie despre g\u0103sirea unui alt b\u0103rbat cu care s\u0103-mi petrec restul vie\u021bii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Am descoperit c\u0103 erau despre altceva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Despre a afla cine devenisem dup\u0103 ce petrecusem treizeci de ani av\u00e2nd grij\u0103 de ceilal\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Despre a \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba s\u0103 spun \u201enu\u201d f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 simt vinovat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i, uneori, despre a-i permite unui om s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 dup\u0103 cincisprezece minute \u0219i s\u0103 spun\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201eAm \u00een\u021beles. Las\u0103-m\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eencerc din nou.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu \u0219tiu dac\u0103 eu \u0219i Mihai vom r\u0103m\u00e2ne \u00eempreun\u0103 pentru tot restul vie\u021bii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n La v\u00e2rsta mea, am \u00eencetat s\u0103 mai am nevoie de asemenea promisiuni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218tiu doar c\u0103 \u00een seara aceea am fost m\u00e2ndr\u0103 de dou\u0103 lucruri.<\/p>\n\n\n\n C\u0103 am avut curajul s\u0103-i \u00eenchid u\u0219a.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u0218i c\u0103, atunci c\u00e2nd s-a \u00eentors ar\u0103t\u00e2ndu-mi c\u0103 m\u0103 ascultase cu adev\u0103rat, am avut curajul s\u0103 o deschid din nou.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
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